Well I am not really sure what to do with myself. Which is why I'm writing this. I'm a bit stuck with where to begin.

My room is a mess. I never really feel that productive in it, not properly productive. Maybe I should clear it up. Not decorate it. That's for long staying and I plan to be on my own... that's it. My plan is to have a flat of my own by the end of the year. Ambitious considering I haven't got a job and a tad foolish if I don't start applying right now but I'll make it nonetheless. That is my goal. And I will remind myself of it if I get a bit stuck with what to do next and find myself lazing around like a buffoon.

I don't really feel good about lazing around. Makes me feel like a slob. Eating not very good stuff makes me feel like that as well. I don't have junk food but I also don't eat fruit and vegetables. I might look up some vegetable concoction in a cookery book and try and make something.

The thing that is bothering me a bit (and which I think is causing me to procrastinate so much now) is a job interview I got yesterday at the Jobcentre. It's at 21:00 for night shift work. Now normally I wouldn't go for a position like that (I prefer the day) but I thought maybe yes. I completely forgot that I had booked to see Atlas Sound on the same date. With a job whose hours I already am not sure about, I don't think I'll be going. I phoned up and said so though there seemed to be a problem with cancelling it - my jobs advisor wanted me to take it. And I'm kind of torn about it despite making up my mind. £12.50 is a lot of money to piss down the drain for a job I might not even get... but then again if I do get it I could get a job. That's the £12.50 already compensated. Also I think it is likely I will have my benefits cut if I don't attend...

Yes, I think that is the reason I've been moping around.